Saturday, May 29
today was the parent-teacher dialogue thing. well it went pretty well, and i got my report paper. to my horror, the comment from steven/george marlay was "did not hand in homework". WHAT THE FUCK. i handed in my homework! i handed in time too! its because andy wasnt feeling ok and he handed in the whole buncha papers late and we the lit students all got zero.
but the history was nice. mrs low wrote "a joy to teach". how sweet. *kowtows to mrs low*
after the ptd my mom took me shopping. was fun, spent about $300 in northpoint. mutti shops like a woman who's been stranded on a desert island for 5 years.
i suck at blogging. i start off writing a lot. then i don't know how to end.
but the history was nice. mrs low wrote "a joy to teach". how sweet. *kowtows to mrs low*
after the ptd my mom took me shopping. was fun, spent about $300 in northpoint. mutti shops like a woman who's been stranded on a desert island for 5 years.
i suck at blogging. i start off writing a lot. then i don't know how to end.
Friday, May 28
i shall report what happened during the drama, although you can read a rather cynical view on betty's blog.
i skipped the PW lecture to go set up my tools in the girls' room, then i stripped myself and changed into my hideous Alexas costume. then completely forgetting my training in stage makeup, i rubbed makeup all over my face and i turned out to look like a monkey that had undergone animal testing.
then baizurah came in and shrieked at my face.
i helped baizurah do her eye makeup, which looked pretty impressive. but she didnt want me to do anything else. so did the other girls. seems like my own face scared the other girls away. well i had no time to redo my face, dont blame me. it was my over-zealous hands that did it. i grabbed my powder and some blush and went to the area where the guys were lounging about snacking on the curry puffs and drinking the ribena which had a mixture of tap-water, cheaply bought ribena syrup and aarthi's spit. i did a bit of powder dusting and blush brushing on the main guys, and they looked like monkeys' asses. man i need more practice, my skills are going rusty.
when the play started, everyone screamed with laughter when cleo came out in a hot pink cheongsam and fluttering a black lace fan like a mamasan. then when betty appeared onstage there was a bigger hullabaloo because she was in a super-tight SIA uniform. then when i came out to do my messenger bit, i slipped on the uber long pants, fell BANG on my knees and slid on the ground till the skin on my right foot got rubbed off.
everyone in the audience went "OUCH!!"
then they laughed like stuffed toys when i repeated this performance about 3 times.
the soothsayer bit was freezing. no one understood what we were saying, even though we were yelling out heads off. when i did the bottle-posed-as-enormous-erection gesture, nobody caught it either. the next scene when i came out, i did my usual pompous Alexas walk, which apparently induced huizhen aka intoxicated owl to burst into uncontrollable laughter.
oh well.
i hated my singing girl part. i felt like a puppet when i did the silly line-dance bit. and the fiddler's fiddle was so damn loud, i could barely hear myself. oh sheesh, and everyone commented on my mini dress. well it's not mine. it's my mom's. she wore this same dress in the 70's.
when the whole performance thing was over, i fixed up the mess in the changing room while the girls just disappeared. and betty left a stack of her files and her watch and her mirror and her eyeshadows. i assumed she was waiting for me or maybe she'll be coming back to get them. but after about 15 minutes and no betty, i struggled to carry her stupid stuff along with my makeup box, school bag and 5 sets of costumes and accessories.
and then i found out betty went home already.
*you can imagine what i said to betty on the phone.*
i got home and went to sleep.
finished. that's the whole of the play day for you.
i skipped the PW lecture to go set up my tools in the girls' room, then i stripped myself and changed into my hideous Alexas costume. then completely forgetting my training in stage makeup, i rubbed makeup all over my face and i turned out to look like a monkey that had undergone animal testing.
then baizurah came in and shrieked at my face.
i helped baizurah do her eye makeup, which looked pretty impressive. but she didnt want me to do anything else. so did the other girls. seems like my own face scared the other girls away. well i had no time to redo my face, dont blame me. it was my over-zealous hands that did it. i grabbed my powder and some blush and went to the area where the guys were lounging about snacking on the curry puffs and drinking the ribena which had a mixture of tap-water, cheaply bought ribena syrup and aarthi's spit. i did a bit of powder dusting and blush brushing on the main guys, and they looked like monkeys' asses. man i need more practice, my skills are going rusty.
when the play started, everyone screamed with laughter when cleo came out in a hot pink cheongsam and fluttering a black lace fan like a mamasan. then when betty appeared onstage there was a bigger hullabaloo because she was in a super-tight SIA uniform. then when i came out to do my messenger bit, i slipped on the uber long pants, fell BANG on my knees and slid on the ground till the skin on my right foot got rubbed off.
everyone in the audience went "OUCH!!"
then they laughed like stuffed toys when i repeated this performance about 3 times.
the soothsayer bit was freezing. no one understood what we were saying, even though we were yelling out heads off. when i did the bottle-posed-as-enormous-erection gesture, nobody caught it either. the next scene when i came out, i did my usual pompous Alexas walk, which apparently induced huizhen aka intoxicated owl to burst into uncontrollable laughter.
oh well.
i hated my singing girl part. i felt like a puppet when i did the silly line-dance bit. and the fiddler's fiddle was so damn loud, i could barely hear myself. oh sheesh, and everyone commented on my mini dress. well it's not mine. it's my mom's. she wore this same dress in the 70's.
when the whole performance thing was over, i fixed up the mess in the changing room while the girls just disappeared. and betty left a stack of her files and her watch and her mirror and her eyeshadows. i assumed she was waiting for me or maybe she'll be coming back to get them. but after about 15 minutes and no betty, i struggled to carry her stupid stuff along with my makeup box, school bag and 5 sets of costumes and accessories.
and then i found out betty went home already.
*you can imagine what i said to betty on the phone.*
i got home and went to sleep.
finished. that's the whole of the play day for you.
i heard that i dont make sense.
anyway today didnt feel like the last day of term 2, because to me, i feel like i've just started school. and besides we still have lessons the next 2 weeks. during lunch we bitched about a certain person. and about a certain act it commited during a certain class.
sometimes i wish i could just shoot it dead and sweep it under the carpet.
then i dont want to dirty my hands with it's filthy blood and when i shoot it, little globules of orange fat will prolly splatter out in all directions.
boy am i hungry. vati's cooking his special diet meal.
anyway today didnt feel like the last day of term 2, because to me, i feel like i've just started school. and besides we still have lessons the next 2 weeks. during lunch we bitched about a certain person. and about a certain act it commited during a certain class.
sometimes i wish i could just shoot it dead and sweep it under the carpet.
then i dont want to dirty my hands with it's filthy blood and when i shoot it, little globules of orange fat will prolly splatter out in all directions.
boy am i hungry. vati's cooking his special diet meal.
Thursday, May 27
it's become routine whenever i turn on the computer. i play freecell, then when i win, i play solitaire. after winning a game of solitaire i play spider solitaire. then after winning all three games i log on to the internet, then i go on to MSN and Yahoo. when my emails are checked, i turn on my webcam and knock about with it and admire my face on the computer screen. then i blog or do my research or type my essays. finally i turn it off.
after school i met up with dhani and we went to town together. i had my forehead lawnmowed again so now my shaggy caterpillars are skinny spider's legs. then we hiked to the youth park and all we could say was, "hallejuah...allelua...alleua...."
then feeling disappointed we hiked to takashimaya and looked at witchcraft books while i irritated people with my french/italian/indian/southern accent. then we hiked to paragon and had dinner.
then we went home.
hallejuah...allelua...alleua...
then feeling disappointed we hiked to takashimaya and looked at witchcraft books while i irritated people with my french/italian/indian/southern accent. then we hiked to paragon and had dinner.
then we went home.
hallejuah...allelua...alleua...
Tuesday, May 25
i had a vivid dream last night. i dreamt that my whole family went to see my brother's university orientation, and i got lost and wandered to katong or kallang, where my ex lived. (funny how i dont even know where derrick lived) anyway, i was pushing this lame NTUC shopping trolley along. just pushing it up and down while i trudged about looking for my parents. then i got tired and i went inside this strange little house which was all dilapidated and dinghy. and i met this fairy that looked like a stuffed toy. she was injured (she lost her wings) and i helped her piece back her wings. she was so happy, she found a pair of huge dragonfly wings that had fallen apart and asked me to fix it for her too. when i fixed it, she tied it to my back and said it was for me, i am now a human-fairy. then i started floating horizontally. it was so fucking real. the floating sensation. i glided in the air here and there, going higher and lower and doing loops. the fairy then asked me to look at the fairy altar. it was this huge shelf filled with stuffed dolls, very brightly colored. i took the queen fairy in my hands and kissed her. then the fairy said i had a mission to do. what the mission was i forgot, but i had to go to far east plaza. i flew to far east plaza. then i thought, hey maybe i could finally get my eyebrows trimmed. then instead of going to my usual beauty parlour, i went into this trashy goth-like salon. the stylists instead of simply trimming my brows, gave me a head-to-toe makeover, and i ended up looking like marilyn manson. i started crying because my pain-stakingly grown hair was lopped off into a spiky do. so they gave me a discount and i paid only $6 for the entire makeover. yay. then i put on my wings and flew and glided about in the shopping center. then i woke up because i had horrendous cramps. i dont know what the meaning of that dream was, but it sure was very vivid too.
Saturday, May 22
you used to give me flowers
you used to hold my hand
just to make me smile and laugh
you'd do all you can
now you give me e-cards
now you shake my hand
you don't make me smile or laugh
you've got a new girlfriend
"just friends," you'd say
"a new start," I pray
but that's impossible
because we lost that touch
you used to hold my hand
just to make me smile and laugh
you'd do all you can
now you give me e-cards
now you shake my hand
you don't make me smile or laugh
you've got a new girlfriend
"just friends," you'd say
"a new start," I pray
but that's impossible
because we lost that touch
yesterday was my birthday.
anyway, the part i liked best about yesterday was when i sorta set the flower arrangement on fire. it was really funny, shoulda be filmed on camera. the pretty daisies and chrysanthemums wilting there with a huge bonfire in the middle and hot wax dripping down the sides of the container.
i felt kinda sad when i went to anderson. it was a memorable 4 years there. although the uniform still sucks, and having to run down to the stupid carpark every morning still makes me roll my eyes, there are many things i still can't bear to leave. the friends i made there. the weird antics i pulled off, like jumping off the third storey and landing in a tree. writing slander about a certain teacher who is now vice-principal oh my fucking god. stealing books from the library. wow. lovely.
met the same old people again yesterday. the rebonded girls still rebonded. the spiky boys still spiky. little juniors suddenly taller than me. baby-faced choir boys now having girlfriends. how they have grown. how we have grown.
how you have grown!
anyway, the part i liked best about yesterday was when i sorta set the flower arrangement on fire. it was really funny, shoulda be filmed on camera. the pretty daisies and chrysanthemums wilting there with a huge bonfire in the middle and hot wax dripping down the sides of the container.
i felt kinda sad when i went to anderson. it was a memorable 4 years there. although the uniform still sucks, and having to run down to the stupid carpark every morning still makes me roll my eyes, there are many things i still can't bear to leave. the friends i made there. the weird antics i pulled off, like jumping off the third storey and landing in a tree. writing slander about a certain teacher who is now vice-principal oh my fucking god. stealing books from the library. wow. lovely.
met the same old people again yesterday. the rebonded girls still rebonded. the spiky boys still spiky. little juniors suddenly taller than me. baby-faced choir boys now having girlfriends. how they have grown. how we have grown.
how you have grown!
Thursday, May 20
notice some people have certain blogging styles? dearest dhaniah's ramblings are deep and thoughtful. darling betty's is streaked with violence and never-ending barbed comments. zhao's make you giggle every three words. del's has this bubble-light cheery tone (despite occasional bitchy ramblings).
dinga danga dinga danga dinga danga.
dinga danga dinga danga dinga danga.
Monday, May 17
Bitchy Ramblings Part 2
Dear Fat Slut,
i admit, i can be a freaking bitch. i say horrible things about you behind your back, and in front of you i act like your best friend. but those horrible things are true. you really are fat and ugly and shallow. and you have really thick skin. you are over-pushy and you don't know your own limits. why am i so nice to you in front of you? because i'm not like you. i don't want you to feel like you're the most worthless person in the world. i don't say bad things about a person straight to her face and act like a brainless idiot. i want you to shut yourself up in a room for 6 weeks and reflect on your actions. meanwhile i want you to go on a diet and work that ass off. i hate looking at your fat thighs under your short skirt.
Dear Fat Walrus,
why do you think i treat you like i treat you? obviously there's something wrong with you. number one, you talk too much. number two, you eat too much. number three, you stink. number four, you act like a prepubescent orangutan. i could go on, but i'm running out of time and i need to squeeze in many more letters. well here's some words of advice. don't talk like you know so much, because you know nothing, and everyone can see that. don't eat by the shovelful, limit yourself to only 2000 calories a day. if i can survive on 1200 calories a day, so can you. also, you need to do cardiovascular and toning exercises every other day otherwise you'll die a virgin. for your odour problem, PLEASE brush your teeth first thing in the morning. also, PLEASE take a shower before you come to school. shave your underarms and your legs, the sight of your luscious fur makes me hurl. finally, please have some self-worth. don't act like a smurf when you resemble Jabba Hutt. behave in a more subdued manner so it frees up a lot more space for us to move in.
Dear Stinkbomb,
two words: YOU STINK.
your cheap deodorant isn't working, dude. you need Smelly No More. remember that soap they used to advertise? go look for it. shave your underarms too. and get a really short haircut, since sweat and bacteria tend to cling onto hair. with less fur around your body, you'll be much cooler and sweat less. i also hate the way you behave. you are absolutely untalented and you look like a truck just ran over your face. don't think too highly of yourself. because nobody does. and nobody likes you.
FYI: these people are people i know, you guys don't know them, so don't waste your time trying to guess who are they.
Dear Fat Slut,
i admit, i can be a freaking bitch. i say horrible things about you behind your back, and in front of you i act like your best friend. but those horrible things are true. you really are fat and ugly and shallow. and you have really thick skin. you are over-pushy and you don't know your own limits. why am i so nice to you in front of you? because i'm not like you. i don't want you to feel like you're the most worthless person in the world. i don't say bad things about a person straight to her face and act like a brainless idiot. i want you to shut yourself up in a room for 6 weeks and reflect on your actions. meanwhile i want you to go on a diet and work that ass off. i hate looking at your fat thighs under your short skirt.
Dear Fat Walrus,
why do you think i treat you like i treat you? obviously there's something wrong with you. number one, you talk too much. number two, you eat too much. number three, you stink. number four, you act like a prepubescent orangutan. i could go on, but i'm running out of time and i need to squeeze in many more letters. well here's some words of advice. don't talk like you know so much, because you know nothing, and everyone can see that. don't eat by the shovelful, limit yourself to only 2000 calories a day. if i can survive on 1200 calories a day, so can you. also, you need to do cardiovascular and toning exercises every other day otherwise you'll die a virgin. for your odour problem, PLEASE brush your teeth first thing in the morning. also, PLEASE take a shower before you come to school. shave your underarms and your legs, the sight of your luscious fur makes me hurl. finally, please have some self-worth. don't act like a smurf when you resemble Jabba Hutt. behave in a more subdued manner so it frees up a lot more space for us to move in.
Dear Stinkbomb,
two words: YOU STINK.
your cheap deodorant isn't working, dude. you need Smelly No More. remember that soap they used to advertise? go look for it. shave your underarms too. and get a really short haircut, since sweat and bacteria tend to cling onto hair. with less fur around your body, you'll be much cooler and sweat less. i also hate the way you behave. you are absolutely untalented and you look like a truck just ran over your face. don't think too highly of yourself. because nobody does. and nobody likes you.
FYI: these people are people i know, you guys don't know them, so don't waste your time trying to guess who are they.
Tuesday, May 11
i'm feeling torn like always. torn between two emotions, psycho-happiness and blah-lethargy. i feel tired these days. very tired.
in fact i could just put my head down and sleep forever, never to wake up.
i like making people laugh. it makes me happy to see people laugh. i love to hear people laugh. i like seeing people smile too.
but sometimes i get these inexplicable waves of sadness washing over me.
i guess it's just the hormonal changes in me.
in fact i could just put my head down and sleep forever, never to wake up.
i like making people laugh. it makes me happy to see people laugh. i love to hear people laugh. i like seeing people smile too.
but sometimes i get these inexplicable waves of sadness washing over me.
i guess it's just the hormonal changes in me.
but what if i'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his
with her name still on it
hey but i don't care
cause sometimes i said
sometimes i hear my voice and it's been
here silent all these
years go by will i still be waiting
for somebody else to understand
years go by if i'm stripped of my beauty
and the orange clouds raining in my head
years go by will i choke on my tears
till finally there is nothing left
one more casualty
you know we're too easy
- tori amos "silent all these years"
in these jeans of his
with her name still on it
hey but i don't care
cause sometimes i said
sometimes i hear my voice and it's been
here silent all these
years go by will i still be waiting
for somebody else to understand
years go by if i'm stripped of my beauty
and the orange clouds raining in my head
years go by will i choke on my tears
till finally there is nothing left
one more casualty
you know we're too easy
- tori amos "silent all these years"
Saturday, May 8
yeah! finally the singing exam is over!
i'm seriously considering not going for singapore idol. either i don't sign the e-mage contract or i don't go for singapore idol.
i'm feeling so bummed!!! spozed to be going for a gig with dhaniah after the exam, but vati made me come home instead. never mind. when i'm in college and staying in the college dorm, i'll stay out ALL i want. i'll go for ALL the gigs i've missed.
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
i'm seriously considering not going for singapore idol. either i don't sign the e-mage contract or i don't go for singapore idol.
i'm feeling so bummed!!! spozed to be going for a gig with dhaniah after the exam, but vati made me come home instead. never mind. when i'm in college and staying in the college dorm, i'll stay out ALL i want. i'll go for ALL the gigs i've missed.
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
Thursday, May 6
i feel sick. nausea.
i'm in the mood for sappy love songs.
There's times where I want something more
Someone more like me
There's times when this dress rehearsal
Seems incomplete
But, you see the colors in me
Like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you're
You're something else
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lovely
Underneath it all
And you're really lovely
people perceive me as intimidating. well yeah i guess i AM intimidating sometimes. but inside i'm vulnerable. i'm soft like egg custard inside, although outside i'm almost impenetratable. almost. you can do anything you want to me, say what you want, but it will just bounce off my shell. but if you ever manage to puncture my shell, i don't think i can ever be the same again.
time and again i think that my shell is broken. but then i spring back again. i'm nearly indestructible. it takes one hard blow to break me. one big hard blow.
i think i'll never break.
i'm scared of people. i'm scared of getting too close, too personal. especially with apes.
so apes, stay away.
i'm in the mood for sappy love songs.
There's times where I want something more
Someone more like me
There's times when this dress rehearsal
Seems incomplete
But, you see the colors in me
Like no one else
And behind your dark glasses you're
You're something else
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lucky
Underneath it all
You're really lovely
You're really lovely
Underneath it all
You want to love me
Underneath it all
I'm really lovely
Underneath it all
And you're really lovely
people perceive me as intimidating. well yeah i guess i AM intimidating sometimes. but inside i'm vulnerable. i'm soft like egg custard inside, although outside i'm almost impenetratable. almost. you can do anything you want to me, say what you want, but it will just bounce off my shell. but if you ever manage to puncture my shell, i don't think i can ever be the same again.
time and again i think that my shell is broken. but then i spring back again. i'm nearly indestructible. it takes one hard blow to break me. one big hard blow.
i think i'll never break.
i'm scared of people. i'm scared of getting too close, too personal. especially with apes.
so apes, stay away.
Wednesday, May 5
had lotsa silly drama rehearsals. mr spencer aka curly beard is making us rehearse like little rehearsing robots. morning to evening, day in day out. it's a hard knock life for us.
on monday i got ambushed countless times by amrit "broken wrist" aka enoboobus and kevin "bend over" aka sexless pompey. i'd think i'm safe, then suddenly i turn and see their stupid slobbering dog faces. UGH.
on tuesday we did scene 4 and 6. and me hates scene 6. me absolutasly hates scene 6. but me hates scene 1 most.
damn i just realised we'll be doing scene 7 tomorrow!!!! means the entire male cast peeping up my skirt!!!! must wear the longer skirt tomorrow. or else i'll be a walking prithee-come-peepeth-up-me-skirt-sir advertisement.
anyway boobies i need inspiration for the preview costume. aarthi suggested the polynesian babe look.
on monday i got ambushed countless times by amrit "broken wrist" aka enoboobus and kevin "bend over" aka sexless pompey. i'd think i'm safe, then suddenly i turn and see their stupid slobbering dog faces. UGH.
on tuesday we did scene 4 and 6. and me hates scene 6. me absolutasly hates scene 6. but me hates scene 1 most.
damn i just realised we'll be doing scene 7 tomorrow!!!! means the entire male cast peeping up my skirt!!!! must wear the longer skirt tomorrow. or else i'll be a walking prithee-come-peepeth-up-me-skirt-sir advertisement.
anyway boobies i need inspiration for the preview costume. aarthi suggested the polynesian babe look.